Home Domestic Violence
Hannah Carter
Dedicated in memory of the
Late Hannah Carter & her family.

When this article was initially prepared my consciousness was dominated by the most

Recent male perpetrator of Domestic Violence

Who had murdered his wife & their 3 little children

In the most wicked sickening & violent attacks imaginable.



Startled by the 2020 Mardi Gras my minds attention fortunately shifted.

To the joy of loving connection. 

All genders & all ages seek loving connecting relationships.

With this I now seek readers permission to excuse, where ever

Necessary the previous predominance of male references to now 

Experiencing Violence in Relationships.

Fundamentally the article is intended to address
Domestic Violence.

Burning Child  Alex Milov


           Partners, struggling to cope with the shock and grief of rejection, abandonment, outright lies and dishonesty.

Certainly by no means complete, nor all encompassing but the heart aching pain, torment, anguish, disappointment, fear and justifiable anger aroused within the abandoned partner must be recognised and stated to assist to successfully, rehabilitate and recovery from such desertion. 

Further more that witheld pain and disappointment MUST be released because an ASPIES partner is entirely FAULTLESS. The abandoned ones are left holding the void, the emptiness of the parts of themselves that they believed they shared and were complimented with their former partner.

Whilst predominantly identified as a male exposed syndrome there are also female ASPIES, so this must not be misconstrued with the understanding established belief of the dominating influence of the male mind.

In reality many relationships with ASPIES run through a pattern of cyclic "getting to live with you" delusion from very early days where individual responses to considerations about inconsiderate behaviours regularl dismissed as petty such as :

  •    Not lifting the seat of the toilet.
  •    Then not putting the lid of the toilet down after use, or cleaning the soiled bowl.
  •    Of course flushing the toilet
  •    Not replacing the top on the tooth paste.
  •    Claiming that "Dutch Ovens" are not fun.
  •    We could move onto expecting control of the TV remote;
  •    Which shows and programs to watch.
  •    Flicking through channels regardless..... so long as its sport.
  •    So you go purchase the second television... or start knitting.....
  •    Tire of Picking up clothes from the bed room floor.....& bathroom.
  •    Living in terror of dangerous angry driving.
  •    Sharing the cooking and washing.
  •    Paying the bills & mortgage.
  •    Spending quiet time together.
  •    And so the list goes on until all past encounters return into each argument as stone age recorded mile posts.


You have passed through the 
  •    Gathering
  •    Forming
  •    Storming 
  •    Performing 
    •    Separating parts that we can now review for realisation, these collectively revealed   characteristics. 
  •    Characteristics which were initially excused & initially clouded over by the ecstasy of "blind love".
  •    That "getting to know you" game, learned & adopted from movies, TV, pornography, & lover learning novels.
  •    TV documentaries such as Farmer Wants a Wife.
  •    Or a good night out with the "The Honey Badger" from the Bachelor.

  •    For an ASPIE so what!  He is emphatically emotionally blind.
  •    Often sexually demanding.
  •    Whilst also ignoring & denying sexual incompetence with performance expectations.
  •    May seem to enjoy the cerebal pulse of his genital explosion but not much else.
  •    It simply helps to feeds his EGO.
  •    Even so having a partner ticks the box.
  •    She Fills the square and the passengers seat.
  •    Makes his investment in a "smick car" worth his while.
  •    Compliments the group dinner.
  •    Children maybe a consequence.
  •    Take them or leave them.
  •    Mostly prefers to be alone to suit himself.

THE PARTNERS PART. .....Her Job description.

  •    Above all else she must be completely & totally subservient.
  •    Maintain order in all areas of the home, life and children.
  •    Must Honour and obey.
  •    She learns early on that he needs to be complimented.
  •    As he is proud and seemingly self confident.
  •    He certainly does not cope with criticism or being relegated to second place. 
  •    His Ego gets jealous but sadly he doesn't know why.
  •    Must complete the full duties of being WIFE. Washing Ironing ...Etc.
  •    Must be extremely tolerant to all demands & expectations at all hours.
  •    Prepared to take second place to all things at all times.
  •    Generally leave him alone to do his own thing.
  •    Only offer compliments and do not criticise.
  •    Not express her opinion or expect to win any argument.
  •    Have absolute faith, total trust in pledged, dedicated, espoused fidelity.
  •    Go along with all the get rich plans that continue to crash.
  •    Given all of the above SHE will still never be enough.
  •    Often hangs 'in'for a roof over her head.
  •    With what ever she can collect from the wreckage.
  •    Finally receives love from the Children if she is lucky.

Leunig Trophy Whipper

Childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. 

Pediatrician Dr. Nadine Burke Harris explains here in this TED TALK  that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. 
This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who have experienced high levels of trauma are at  triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. 

This is an impassioned plea for paediatric medicine to confront the prevention and treatment of trauma, head-on.



IMG 4105
Dear Daddy,
With mainstream culture having so readily adopted pornography into the fold as a socially acceptable norm, many experts have likened pornography to a debilitating disease with serious physical, emotional, and psychological ramifications.

Emerging research has linked this noticeable increase in exposure to pornography during our everyday lives with rising prevalence rates of addiction to pornography itself – as the number of pornography addicts in Australia continues to steadily increase.

The fact that vast quantities of porn are so easily available – an instantly gratifying stimulus that varies in its degrees of graphic, explicit, and violent natures – can be seen as a highly influential factor contributing to these rates. Due to the brain's own incredibly adaptive nature, pornography can – with its sudden, intense neurological reward – foster a powerful sense of dependency within an individual.

As a potent stimulus, pornography – much like any other drug – can manipulate the brain into needing more gratifying stimuli of greater strength.

If left unsatisfied in either the frequency or the intensity of their porn use, an addict can experience various withdrawal-type symptoms including:

  •     persistent cravings for pornography
  •     unwanted sexual thoughts and compulsions
  •    loss of concentration
  •     frequent mood swings
  •    feelings of hopelessness and despair
  •    anxiety and low self-esteem
  •    anger, guilt, and shame
  •    difficulties in sleeping
  •    difficulty in performing daily chores
  •    progressing intimacy difficulties
  •    development of pornography induced erectile dysfunction, (PIED)
A pornography addiction can also put an increased strain on both individuals in a relationship –  interfering with a couple's ability to develop and maintain a strong sense of intimacy between each other. A romantic relationship without affection, trust, and desire is unlikely to last.

Relationship Counselling


Today simply too many innocent young men and women are being misled, and their minds poisoned, about gender differences and sexuality by mind distorting depictions of gross pornography.

Pornography where wounded and troubled young women and sexually depraved minded males are allowing themselves to be used in the world of pornographic assults and putrid distortions of sex and humiliating, aggressive violence.

As difficult as it maybe to believe that even though such forms of sexual behaviour may and do happen in life the pornographic exhibition is  not the way and methods loving sexual relations are to normally be conducted. 

Here is a beautifully delivered, critically important message, for adoleslent young boys who need respectful guidance from their male models and ADULT MINDED Mentors .

Leading onto Problems with Pornography

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